What This Guide Does

• Turns Nussbaum’s philosophy into a step-by-step field manual for homes, teams, schools, and clinics.
• Equips you with anger discipline tools, compassion practices, and repair scripts to end conflicts productively.
• Provides capability dashboards so dignity is measurable, not vague.
• Builds a practical 8-week execution framework to avoid overwhelm.

Core Ideas (Plain)

• Emotions are intelligent — they evaluate what matters in our world. They deserve training, not suppression.
• Capabilities = freedoms — real justice is whether people can actually live the lives they value.
• Forgiveness > Payback — anger can be redirected toward repair and prevention instead of cycles of revenge.
• Education needs arts + argument + action to prepare citizens for reasoned, empathetic civic life.

Where You’ll Use It

• Family: run calm-start conflict meetings, apology rituals, and weekly capability check-ins.
• Teams: replace blame cycles with dignity retros and design work with affiliation in mind.
• Schools: run arts–argument–action micro-modules to build empathy + reasoning.
• Clinics: design dignity-first health services using capability scans.

Minimal Setup

1. Print the Emotion Literacy Toolkit (Section 2).
2. Use the Repair & Forgiveness script at the next conflict.
3. Run a quick Capabilities Scan once this week.
4. Schedule your first 8-Week Reasonable Hearts cycle.

2.1 The 90-Second Notice

1. Pause — breathe (4-in / 4-hold / 6-out ×3).
2. Locate — where in the body is this? Chest? Jaw? Gut?
3. Label — anger, fear, sadness, shame, joy, hope, gratitude.
4. Appraisal — what value feels threatened or met?
5. Next step — repair, request, rest, or record.

2.2 Anger Discipline

• Scan: is this about hurt pride or actual harm?
• Shift: from fantasies of payback → planning repair.
• Ask: “What repair or prevention would reduce harm?”
• Act: make a clear request (behaviour, boundary, plan).

2.3 Compassion Reps

Practice compassion as lucid concern, not indulgence.

• Fact focus: describe what happened, not motives.
• Human lens: imagine needs under their constraints.
• Boundary: compassion doesn’t cancel accountability.

2.4 Grief & Guilt Channels

• Grief: name the loss; mark it with a small ritual (light, song, memory).
• Guilt: name harm clearly; apologise without “but”; propose concrete amends.

2.5 Five-Word Feelings (Plain)

• “I feel angry (blocked value).”
• “I feel worried (uncertain risk).”
• “I feel hurt (bond strained).”
• “I feel sad (real loss).”
• “I feel glad (value met).”

2.6 Capability Check (Micro)

1. Health: did we rest, move, eat well?
2. Education: did we learn something?
3. Affiliation: did we feel respect?
4. Play: did we have joy?
5. Practical reason: do we have freedom to plan?

3.1 The 10-Minute Repair Meeting

1. Neutral start (2 min): “We’re here to fix the problem, not each other.”
2. Two stories (4 min): each person shares facts → feelings → values (no interruptions).
3. Shared map (2 min): write down agreements and unknowns.
4. Commitments (2 min): one concrete change each + set a follow-up date.

3.2 The Clean Apology

• “I’m sorry I [specific action].”
• “It caused [specific impact].”
• “I will [specific amends] by [date].”
• No “but.” End with: “Is there anything I missed?”

3.3 Forgiveness Without Forgetting

• Safety first: if harm repeats, escalate boundaries.
• Forward focus: ask “what prevents a repeat?”
• Review date: agree on a check-in.

3.4 Team Retro (Dignity Edition)

1. Facts: sequence decisions/events.
2. Feelings: each person 90-second share.
3. Dignity scan: disrespect or exclusion logged.
4. Fixes: assign owner + deadline.
5. Thanks: highlight one constructive act.

6.1 Household Dashboard

Every Sunday, scan five freedoms:

• Health: sleep, movement, meals. (Score 1–5)
• Education: did we learn something meaningful this week? (Y/N)
• Affiliation: did we feel respect + belonging? (Examples)
• Play: did we laugh, rest, or create? (Hours)
• Practical reason: do we see our week aligning with longer values? (Notes)

6.2 Team Dashboard

Run once per sprint (weekly/fortnightly).

• Respect index: Did all voices get airtime in last meetings?
• Learning log: 1 new idea captured?
• Conflict repair: # incidents → # closed with apology/plan.
• Dignity scan: any exclusion, stigma, or privacy breach?
• Capability pulse: team members free to rest, learn, belong?

6.3 Community / Clinic Dashboard

• Access: % clients given entry choice (paper/digital/verbal).
• Time respect: average wait update interval.
• Affiliation: % staff using names, affirmations.
• Outcomes: % clients reporting dignity maintained.
• Follow-ups: # of amends/repairs documented per incident.

6.4 Review Cadence

Dashboards die without review loops. Use this cycle:

1. Collect: fill dashboard live (not retroactively).
2. Reflect: ask “Which capability is most fragile?”
3. Commit: 1 repair action for next cycle.
4. Check: at next meeting, report if action landed.

7.1 Family Conflict Turnaround

Scenario: Two teenage siblings fight over shared laptop.

• Old cycle: shouting → sulking → no resolution.
• New cycle: run Repair Script 3.1.
• Outcome: each names value (respect vs. school deadlines). Parent facilitates. Agreement: timed slots + shared calendar. Follow-up in 1 week. Repair stuck.

Capability impact: Affiliation ↑ (respect), Education ↑ (deadline met), Play preserved (both still get downtime).

7.2 Team Incident Healing

Scenario: Developer made public error in release notes; colleagues mocked in chat.

• Old cycle: silent shame → reduced participation.
• New cycle: run Team Retro Dignity Edition.
• Outcome: facts listed, feelings voiced (hurt, embarrassment). Dignity breach acknowledged. Team commits to humour rules. Thanks given for quick patch.

Capability impact: Affiliation ↑ (no stigma), Practical reason ↑ (improved norms), Play preserved (humour rechannelled).

7.3 Clinic Intake Upgrade

Scenario: Elderly patients report confusion with digital forms.

• Old cycle: repeated form errors, long waits, stress.
• New cycle: intake redesigned with choice: paper, iPad, staff interview.
• Outcome: wait times dropped, dignity preserved, adherence improved.

Capability impact: Health ↑ (less stress), Practical reason ↑ (choice), Affiliation ↑ (respect).

7.4 School Debate Pilot

Scenario: Class of 12-year-olds struggle with civility in debate.

• Old cycle: shouting matches, ad hominems.
• New cycle: Arts & Reason triad applied. Roles rotate; compassion rubric added.
• Outcome: measured drop in interruptions, increase in reasoned points. Teacher logs improvement in weekly dashboard.

Capability impact: Affiliation ↑, Education ↑, Practical reason ↑.

8.1 General

• Q: Is this therapy?
  A: No. This is education + practice design. For therapy, see licensed professionals.
• Q: Why Nussbaum?
  A: She reframes emotions as intelligent appraisals and grounds justice in real freedoms (capabilities).
• Q: How long before impact?
  A: Families & teams often notice changes in 2–3 weeks of consistent repair meetings + dashboards.
• Q: What if people refuse?
  A: You can’t force it. Start with your own dashboard + clean apologies. Invite others without pressure.

8.2 Emotions

• Q: Isn’t anger natural?
  A: Yes—but it’s better used as signal for repair/prevention than as fuel for payback.
• Q: What if compassion gets abused?
  A: Compassion ≠ indulgence. You can be caring and set boundaries. Forgiveness never cancels accountability.
• Q: What if grief overwhelms us?
  A: Channel it through ritual + sharing. If impairing daily life, seek professional grief counselling.

8.3 Teams

• Q: How to run dignity retros fast?
  A: Facts → Feelings → Dignity scan → Fixes → Thanks. 15–20 minutes total.
• Q: What if leadership resists?
  A: Pilot at small scale. Demonstrate improved morale + reduced churn. Leaders follow results.
• Q: How to measure affiliation?
  A: Ask monthly: “Did you feel respected this sprint?” Track % “yes.”

8.4 Education & Community

• Q: Is this too “soft” for schools?
  A: Evidence shows arts + argument + action improve reasoning + civic behaviour. This is rigorous humanity training.
• Q: How to adapt for elders?
  A: Use slower pacing, larger fonts, choice-rich forms, and rituals for affiliation (names, recognition).
• Q: Can it scale to councils?
  A: Yes—via capability dashboards in services. Measure dignity as KPI alongside cost/time.

9.1 Emotion Log

Emotion Log — [Date]
Feeling: [angry / sad / worried / glad / hurt]
Value affected: [respect / safety / learning / belonging / health]
Body signal: [jaw tight / chest heavy / stomach churn]
Next step: [repair / request / rest / record]

9.2 Repair Meeting Agenda

Repair Agenda
- Facts (2 min each)
- Feelings & Values (2 min each)
- Agreements / Unknowns
- Commitments (1 each)
- Check-in date

9.3 Clean Apology Form

Apology — [Date]
Action: _______________________
Impact: _______________________
Amends: _______________________
Review Date: __________________

9.4 Dignity Checklist (Service)

Dignity Checklist
- Entry options offered? (Y/N)
- Privacy sign visible? (Y/N)
- Time updated within 10 min? (Y/N)
- Respect language used? (Y/N)
- Client felt heard? (Y/N)

9.5 Arts–Argument–Action Log

AAA Log — [Month]
Arts session: [date / theme / output]
Argument session: [topic / roles / insights]
Action project: [service / participants / value strengthened]
Reflection: _______________________

9.6 Capability Scan Card

Quick Scan — [Date]
Health: [1–5]
Education: [Y/N]
Affiliation: [Y/N]
Play: [hours]
Practical reason: [notes]

Week 1 — Notice & Name

• Teach 90-second notice (pause, locate, label, appraisal, next step).
• Introduce Five-Word Feelings list to family/team.
• Log 1 emotion each per day in Emotion Log.

Goal: baseline emotion literacy.

Week 2 — Anger Discipline

• Run 2 short sessions on status vs. real harm.
• Practice shifting from payback → repair/prevention.
• Log at least 1 anger episode using Anger Discipline steps.

Goal: channel anger into forward-looking justice.

Week 3 — Compassion & Grief

• Practice Compassion Reps with role-swaps (5 min/day).
• Hold 1 short grief ritual (memory share, candle, music).
• Use Guilt Apology Form once if needed.

Goal: compassion clarity without indulgence.

Week 4 — Repair Meetings

• Run a 10-minute repair meeting for 1 conflict.
• Use Clean Apology form once.
• Set follow-up date for commitments.

Goal: conflict ends with learning, not lingering harm.

Week 5 — Capability Scans

• Introduce Capability Quick Scan (health, education, affiliation, play, reason).
• Run household scan Sunday; team scan at retro; clinic scan at intake.
• Mark fragile capability with red dot; plan 1 repair action.

Goal: measure lives by freedoms, not just metrics.

Week 6 — Arts–Argument–Action

• Run 1 arts session (poetry/painting/drama).
• Run 1 argument session with compassion rubric.
• Plan 1 small action project (30–60 min service).

Goal: empathy + reasoning + civic courage.

Week 7 — Dashboards & Reviews

• Launch Household Dashboard (fridge dots or app).
• Launch Team Dashboard (retro cadence).
• Launch Clinic Dashboard (if in PHAT context).

Goal: dignity becomes metric, not just sentiment.

Week 8 — Integration

• Run capstone meeting: each person shares 1 capability that grew.
• Archive templates; set monthly dashboard reviews.
• Plan next 8-week cycle with refined goals.

Goal: OS runs as habit, not extra task.