One of the cruelest ironies of narcissistic abuse is that it doesn't primarily target the weak. Covert narcissists seek out the strong, the intelligent, and — most of all — the deeply empathetic.

It’s not because you are broken. It’s because you are powerful. And they want to harvest that power for themselves.

"They are drawn to your light — not to admire it, but to feed on it."

Why You Were Chosen

If you are deeply empathetic, you are naturally wired to heal, to understand, and to believe in the goodness of others. You see the potential in people even when they hide it beneath pain, trauma, or dysfunction.

To a covert narcissist, this is an opportunity. They mirror vulnerability, woundedness, or misunderstood genius to hook your compassion. They present themselves as someone who just needs more love, more patience, more belief — everything you are so ready to give.

In their mind, your heart is their resource. Your strength is their shield. Your loyalty is their guarantee of continued supply.

The Strength They Target

Covert narcissists often pursue individuals who are:

• Emotionally intelligent: You can sense moods, needs, and hidden pains — making you easier to manipulate emotionally.
• Resilient: You can endure hardship, which means you’ll endure their abuse longer before leaving.
• Optimistic: You believe people can change — making you invest even when they show little to no real change.
• Self-sacrificing: You’re willing to put others before yourself — a trait they exploit ruthlessly.

In short: They chose you because you are powerful, not weak.

"They don’t want your weakness — they want your strength, repurposed for their own survival."

The Empath's Blindspot

Empaths are vulnerable to covert narcissists because they operate from a lens of compassion, not manipulation. You believe that love heals all wounds. You believe that consistent patience will eventually unlock someone’s true goodness.

But covert narcissists are not wounded children trying to heal — they are opportunists trying to survive at your expense.

Breaking Free from the Empath Trap

Escaping the empath trap doesn’t mean becoming cold or selfish. It means learning a powerful, mature form of empathy — one that includes boundaries, discernment, and self-protection.

Key strategies include:

• Recognize Patterns: Intent matters. If someone repeatedly drains you despite your help, that’s a pattern — not a fluke.
• Practice Discernment: Not everyone deserves access to your empathy.
• Honor Your Intuition: If something feels wrong, it usually is — no matter how "nice" someone seems on the surface.
• Prioritize Yourself: Saving yourself is not selfish. It is survival.

"Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction in slow motion."

Your empathy is a gift. But it must be directed toward those who value and reciprocate it — not those who consume it until there’s nothing left.