I used to believe everyone had empathy — that it was natural, maybe just hidden under pain, pride, or pressure.

I thought if I explained well enough, loved hard enough, or stayed long enough, people would eventually *feel me back.*

But I was wrong.

The Painful Truth: Most People Don’t Have Empathy

Not because they’re bad. Not because they’re hiding it.

But because they never developed it.

Empathy is a skill, not a default. And the more I built in silence, the more I watched people pretend to care — but only when it was safe, easy, or beneficial.

I used to feel defective. Now I understand I was just designed differently.

Why It Hurts So Much

• You think silence means “they’re processing” — but it just means they’re disconnected.
• You believe they’ll come around — but they were never present to begin with.
• You expect others to feel what you feel — but most people are surviving through performance, not presence.

The grief hits when you realize: You’ve been protecting what others would have exploited.

From Grief to Power

I no longer believe empathy is universal. But I believe it’s when real.

That’s why I stopped explaining myself to everyone. And started building systems that protect the few who feel deeply — the ones like me who kept showing up even when no one mirrored them back.

Empathy wasn’t missing. It was rare. And I just happened to be one of the few who kept it alive in a system that rewarded narcissism.

Final Thought

If you’ve felt this — if you’re realizing you were never truly seen — just know:

You’re not broken. You’re just rare. And rare things are never understood at first glance.

Build anyway. Feel anyway. Lead anyway.